I haven’t been writing much lately on my blog (in case you hadn’t noticed the utter lack of updates). I took over as Acting Director for the San Rafael Public Library 15 months ago and as Director 9 months ago. Before that time, I was averaging 20-30 posts a month. In the last four months I’ve posted twice. That makes me sad.
I still am active daily on Twitter and Facebook, but I have been so burned out by work and personal life stress that thinking about libraries after I get home is (sorry to say) the absolute last thing I want to do. I’ve also cut way back on my speaking engagements–down from 44 in 2011 to 25 in 2012, and looking forward it looks to be around 10 for 2013. Sorry kids–I’m tired from my day job and real life. The limitless power source that was my professional engagement has apparently found its limit.
What motivated me to post today was someone asking about a follow-up to the stalker post that I wrote on Halloween 2011. I was asked–Are things better? Have things changed? Are people less creepy now and leaving you alone?
Sadly, no. Since I wrote that post I have received:
- several more unwanted advances and “touches” at conferences (including a drunk librarian in underwear only knocking on my hotel room door), which is part of why I dialed back my speaking engagements – I’m so sick of this shit
- a marriage proposal from a fellow librarian (who I don’t know from Adam) who started it off with the very romantic “Now that you’re finally divorced and everything…”
- two hand-written mailed death threats at work
- numerous anonymous bouquets of flowers on my home doorstep, some with creepy stalker-ish poetry, which I traced back to…
- a local stalker who eventually revealed himself while I was on a break outside the library, physically assaulted me, and got slapped with a restraining order after I kicked him where it counts and grabbed his wallet and ID when he was on the ground to get identification
And frankly, there has been a lot of stress in my work life in the last year. The inevitable personnel and budget challenges at work, a huge uptick in illegal behavior in the library resulting in a lot of banning, a small claims lawsuit filed against the library, a patron who said he’d “bury me in paper” and then did so through numerous FOIA requests, pests and mold in the library, the facility literally falling down around us, and in general feeling that this “trial by fire new director” thing is not the best way of learning things.
So between work being insane, creepy people still making themselves seen, and an emotionally taxing personal life…yeah, I’m not writing as much, I’m not presenting as much, and I’m not as active on library issues as I used to be. I am hoping that spark will come back and I will want to start writing again. I guess this is the first step toward that.