My iPad Manifesto
April 13, 2010
The iPad is sexy. But the iPad is not sexy like your partner, Sean Connery, and Matthew Bellamy are sexy.
The iPad is sexy like a prostitute is sexy. It looks good when you see it on the corner, it looks good in the dark, and it feels good in your hand. But afterward you find out that it has many unanticipated side effects you didn’t anticipate. Limitations you didn’t expect, additional fees you weren’t expecting, and you ultimately realize that you didn’t really need it in the first place and drop it back off on the corner you picked it up at.
April 13th, 2010 at 8:52 pm
I would hardly say you are properly informed if you had no idea about these mysterious fees you speak of. It truly sounds as if you are just regurgitating someone else’s opinion. Have you even used one?
April 13th, 2010 at 9:25 pm
[...] [Librarian in Black] [...]
April 13th, 2010 at 9:41 pm
Manifestos at least pretend to have arguments. This is an insult disguised as a metaphor, and a tasteless one at that.
I’ll be on the lookout for those phantom fees, which I’m sure I’ll see about as soon as you write something logical and accurate about Apple.
April 13th, 2010 at 10:37 pm
Ha. That’s an awesome analogy. Sarah, you rock, as always.
April 14th, 2010 at 6:58 am
ooo you went and provoked the iPad’s tricks. Do NOT go there! And I think that you’re (mostly) on the mark. O’Reilly had a good article yesterday (http://radar.oreilly.com/2010/04/the-ipad-isnt-a-computer-its-a.html) that defined the iPad as a Distribution Device: “a 16GB Walmart store shelf that fits on your lap – complete with all the supplier beat downs, slotting fees, and exclusive deals that go with it – and Apple got you to pay for the building.”
April 14th, 2010 at 9:59 am
As I am writing this from my iPad, you will have to count me in the camp of respectfully disagree. While it might not be suited for all people, it is certainly suited to some people, and having done some roaming reference with it yesterday, I would also point to it being useful to me professionally as well as personally. The initial wow factor is also useful in starting conversations and as part of our mission is to educate and inform, I would rather let people decide for themselves than judging for them
April 14th, 2010 at 12:07 pm
It seems you’ve provoked the Apple Pimps and Johns to come to the defense of their vice. Hooray! I love a good scrap!
April 14th, 2010 at 8:56 pm
Appreciated your presentations at CIL, but I also must respectfully disagree. I do believe there is a market and list of legitimate uses for tablets; it’s all I used during CIL, for instance. The blind have written about how well the iPad works for them as an eReader.
If iPads are like prostitutes, consider any other tablets like unicorns: turns out they don’t actually exist or they’re just horses with fake horns taped onto their foreheads (think any tablet based on Windows, a non-touch optimized OS, or JooJoo, which was reviewed as being “just doodoo”).
April 15th, 2010 at 1:29 am
LOL, great post Sarah. All I can think of is the movie Pretty Woman, I’ve fallen in love with my iPad! Didn’t go for the wireless data plan, it’s either wifi or Instapaper for reading articles when wifi isn’t around.
April 15th, 2010 at 8:33 am
Fine, except that there are actual women out there who actually work as sex workers and who aren’t ‘it’ but ‘she’ or ‘him’ or ‘zie’ or some other pronoun. Is there a way to frame your iPad critique without alienating feminists, sex workers, former sex workers, and people who have sex workers as friends? The last thing I want to be figured as is someone who would consider a human being simply a device to be thrown away.
I know I know! I’m a humorless lesbian!
April 16th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
While I hate to offend the sensibilities of anyone in what has become (in my opinion) a hyper-sensitive society inclined towards outrageous levels of “politically correct”, blogs are meant to express an individual opinion. You can agree or disagree with Sarah but attacking her for having an opinion seems rather petty. Take it for what it is, stop reading so much into it and please try to find your funny bone people!
April 16th, 2010 at 3:59 pm
Your analogy is quite offensive. Stick with technology and libraries. Socio-economic and gender issues are clearly not in your domain.
April 17th, 2010 at 12:54 am
To amend my former not-too-subtle applause of Sarah’s droll but concise quote: I am a Mac user. I have eschewed “i” products however. Know why? Cause I don’t want to marry iTunes. I firmly believe that Apple products that do not function as full computing platforms are designed to recruit and enslave consumers to Apple *services*. Believe you me — Apple hardware is awesome. And it works well with Apple software, which had a big part in my decision to migrate from Windows to Kubuntu to Mac OSX. But when I buy a music player — or even more so a PHONE — I am not wiling to give myself over to iTunes. Are you? Really?
So now, go a bit further… What does the iPad offer you that you don’t get from your other Apple slave devices?
(And btw, can you run multiple apps — at the same time — on your new toy? Can you scroll in an HTML window with one finger? Do you really *need* this toy?
April 17th, 2010 at 1:09 pm
I’ve had mine for over a week. I tend to appreciate Apple products and be annoyed with Apple culture, so I’m in neither extreme of the inevitable Apple argument.
First, I find the question of whether you need a toy to be a bit disingenuous. I don’t need facebook or twitter. I don’t need a mobile phone. I don’t need a lot that I have made use for and come to depend on–but then I have a pretty strict (clinical/medical) understanding of “needs”. Once we move past that sort of “do you need” question, the next question for me is: can it help you in ways other things cannot? For me the answer has been yes.
I’ve found it useful and portable in ways even a netbook isn’t. I use it at work when I’m roaming the stacks or even the Reading Room. I use it to read the 2k pages of PDFs i need to reference for various projects. It’s not magical and revolutionary (I hate that advertising rhetoric), but it’s really useful technological tool–far from a computer, but more than a toy–and I appreciate that. Sure it has limitations–I’m likely to write an email with it, but I sure as hell won’t be writing seminar papers with it. I’m not going to throw out the laptops in my life (other than to replace them with better laptops), but I do find myself wondering when or if I’ll pick up that netbook again.
And for what it’s worth, I have had neither surprising limitations nor fees, so I’m not sure where that prognosis comes from. Granted, that’s a fairly generic argument that can be used for adopting any technology without doing any basic background research on costs and limitations, but I don’t see it as singularly applicable to the ipad.
April 18th, 2010 at 10:40 pm
Wow. I swear – I say the word “iPad” with anything negative in the same sentence, and the nasty flies come out of the woodwork. People, please. Some of you are truly being the Literal Net, which is not a compliment.
Yes, I have used an iPad. No, I didn’t have the earth-shattering glowing celestial moment that some report. And no, I don’t see the need for it in my life. But most importantly, I completely disagree with its closed system.
I own a MacBook and love it. No Apple-haters in my house. But I own an Android phone because the iPhone is closed and proprietary. The MacBook is not. I won’t buy an iPad for the same reason – it is closed and proprietary. That is the unknown side effect that I speak of because I think that the majority of people out there who hear about it and get interested have no idea of the limitations they will encounter. Perhaps some of them won’t care. But many will, and in that way the iPad is sexy like a prostitute.
And again, no, this was not regurgitating someone else’s opinion. I spoke at Computers in Libraries on the Dead & Innovative Tech panel and chose the iPad’s closed off system as a “dead tech.” I don’t see a future with such insular and proprietary systems. In that, I agree with Cory Doctorow.
If you feel the need to continue to attack me, please check your facts before doing so and don’t accuse me of being an Apple-hating, ignorant, “hasn’t even used one” person. If you read anything I write, you should know better than that. For shame…
April 19th, 2010 at 6:48 pm
Sarah -
I’ve held off responding to your post until now, but your comment on your own post has drawn me in. I have no qualms with your opinion of the iPad, or the better reasoning you relate in your comment on the post, even if I disagree with your opinion – that’s what discussions are all about. However, I am taken aback by your particular analogy, it seems so out of character from your writings in general. So, before shaming the folks who read and respond to you, perhaps you should re-read what you write, and know that this particular post does seem so out of place…
April 19th, 2010 at 8:28 pm
Well, you made me stop and think some more Jeremy. It seems to me that the replies weren’t so negative because what I wrote was “out of character.” It’s actually not. There are two groups of people angry at me for two different reasons.
One group of people was mad at me for not liking the iPad, period. Joe T’s opinion was quite testily worded and confrontational (and incorrect), but we can respectfully disagree, and we’ll put them aside for purposes of this discussion.
The other group of people are angry at my analogy. I can see their point, in that I am using the word “prostitute” as a negative term for the purposes of this discussion. That was intentional, the analogy made sense in my mind, and I apologize if I offended anyone’s soul.
My intent was not to offend, to objectify, or to hurt anyone. However, I feel that people completely misread and misinterpreted what I wrote and put words into my mouth (or hand, as the case may be). I did not call a sex worker an “it” (the “it” in my sentences clearly refers to the iPad, and not the prostitute in the sentence–check the grammar rules folks). I am not saying that a sex worker is a thing. I’m not saying a sex worker should be thrown away. I compared the sexiness of an iPad to the sexiness of a prostitute (or sex worker if you prefer). I’m talking about the way people feel about the experience.
Offended? OK. Feel free to register your opinion, disagree, and suggest sensitivity training. That’s OK.
But I am constantly surprised at the hatred, anger, literalness, and spite that lives in the undercurrent of the web. The comments here on the post were upset and I can appreciate the argument being made and appreciate their mostly-respectful tone. However, I’ve gotten several emails calling me a “god-d*** anti-feminist whore,” a “lesbian-hater” (what?), a “tasteless idiot,” and a “moronic f****ing b**ch.” I was even told “You should try selling your body sometime. You’ll get 1 cent, you c***.”
Do these sound like good responses? A logical way to argue a point? An intelligent argument? For anyone who knows me, they will think that calling me an anti-feminist is HILARIOUS, a lesbian-hater even more hilarious, though some might agree with the “b**ch” part. I own that.
For goodness sakes, people, see the post for what it is and please don’t over-read into it. All I ask is that people posting here, and communicating with others in general, be respectful and disagree without being hateful or disagreeable. You don’t change people’s minds by beating them over the head or hurling names at them.
April 19th, 2010 at 9:56 pm
FWIW, I certainly wasn’t angry. I disagree maybe 100%, but there’s no anger there
April 20th, 2010 at 11:05 am
Sarah -
Those sound like horrible responses, and there is no excuse for that sort of behavior. The web indeed does seem to provide a mechanism for folks so inclined to uncivil discourse to do so.
Back to your points about exactly what you wrote, when you use that sort of imagery, different readers will visualize and interpret your words based on their own backgrounds, experiences, etc. In no way does that justify the types of inappropriate responses you received, but using such a provocative analogy will tend to, well, provoke, usually in an emotional manner. Again, I think your initial follow-up comment explaining your reasoning for your opinion was a much better post, and hearing your real thoughts and reasoning are the reason I have you on my short list of bloggers whom I do read on a regular basis.
Keep up the good work – every blog needs its own controversy once in a while.
– jaf
April 23rd, 2010 at 10:23 am
Just checking in to read these wacky comments. Sarah, if I got emails like that, I’d publish them in full with email address, real name (if I knew it) and so on. But of course, I wouldn’t get emails like that because people are much more comfortable trying to harass, bully, and shame women than they are men.
To hell with those haters.
April 23rd, 2010 at 10:33 am
Sarah, I loved this post and laughed out loud reading it. So, thank you for that.
Other than that, I’ll just say ditto to what my buddy Steve said.
April 23rd, 2010 at 11:42 am
Thanks for the fist bumps, Steve & josh! Publishing people’s emails is very tempting…let that be a warning to all the future haters.
April 24th, 2010 at 7:46 am
Sarah, I’m standing behind you with my fist in the air in solidarity for pretty much everything you’ve said. Personally, I think you’re better off just deleting those emails and not reading them – that’s the worst thing you could do to those folks, although I might be tempted to send a canned response that the email is being deleted unread because it’s a personal attack. They’re not worth your time and attention, and life is too short for that crap.
Keep doing what you’re doing, because you’re one of our best.
A lesbian who is your friend and is ROTFLMFAO at the thought of you being a lesbian-hater or anti-feminist,
Jenny
April 24th, 2010 at 7:38 pm
[...] then proudly proclaims that they bought their iPad, it kind of rubs me the wrong way. At least Sarah Houghton-Jan had the guts to back up her words with action. I still don’t agree with her or the rest of [...]
April 26th, 2010 at 10:43 am
“I did not call a sex worker an “it” (the “it” in my sentences clearly refers to the iPad, and not the prostitute in the sentence–check the grammar rules folks). I am not saying that a sex worker is a thing. I’m not saying a sex worker should be thrown away. I compared the sexiness of an iPad to the sexiness of a prostitute (or sex worker if you prefer). I’m talking about the way people feel about the experience.”
No. Sorry. You were denigrating sex-workers. You can feel that that’s ok; that’s your right. But, don’t deny it when you obviously were doing it. I came here from my rss-feed reader fully expecting no one else to have called you out on that. Glad I was wrong.